Entries for January, 2008
I look fat...T.T aihx...whatever..XD
hahah...
pretty??
Those drummer boys moves!!!
*dum* *dum* *dum*
No idea why they're crowded in an area...swt..
Baka fishies...
This dessert cost bout RM30++++ expensive like anything...
So spicy....it burnt my tongue...T.T
I look eager to eat don't I??? I'm not that eager after I took a few spoonfulls...T.T
When I came home...my cow...is...sleeping....hahah..
A closer looks at the note..
hahah....my mum wrote that..XD
ok....dat's all...byex!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
{ music } Xiah Junsu- Lately
{ book } For One More Day
{ mood } happy
Written by YiJern at 04:06 PM.
ok...i decided to move my blog here...but i'm lazy to change the title...XD
hahah...
ok...so...i need to complain seriously....like...really....i'm currently feeling VERY UNSATISFIED!!! why?? cause i have to go to a bloody add maths tuition...what's so bloody about it??? it's freezing cold in there...like...really...it's FREEZING!!! i'm covered in layers of clothes right now...trying to get back some warmth....urgh...
and...and...the teacher or instructor or tutor...or whatever you call him...is soooo lame....he kept on telling cold jokes...as if the room isn't cold enough....it's so annoying...and...it has soooo little people...which makes the room colder....urgh...dammit la.....
and plus...the tutor isn't exactly teaching...he just writes out the working and talks a whole lot of rubbish..which of course..i already know....*rolls eyes* and...his methods seems like....seems....long and....elaborated...unlike mr. chiang's.....<<is dat how u spell his name??
so....i hate dat tuition....ish.....i was the first one to get out of the classroom....and run down the stairs...trying to get away from the freezing coldness of dat bloody room.....my toes..are...frozen...aish....
anyway....in conclusion...i hate dat tuition...
{ book } New Moon
{ mood } pissed
Written by YiJern at 10:28 PM.
i have a lot of things to do...but i'm here...blogging...why? i dunno...why am i not feeling the push...and the hardworkingness..??
i need a dose of dat...i cant slack off in form four...i'll die if i do...T.T i need a push...i have to go get my homework done...i cant be lazy...gosh...i need someone to scold me....NOW!!!
T.T
{ book } New Moon
{ mood } lazy
Written by YiJern at 04:28 PM.
omg...
i just finished reading ayashi....the manga...
it's soooooooo sssoooooooooooooo sooooooooooo SAD!!!!
i cried many times reading it...i have no idea why though...it's the first time for me crying from reading...i cried watching animes/dramas before..but this is d first time i'm crying from reading a manga..it's so sad....
junne...u shud read it...XD hahah...or u read it already...hmm..whatever...anyone wants the scans...can ask from me! ^^
i love touya!! and yuuhi too...i love shuro and chidori also...^^
when shuro and chidori died...i cried..so sad..T.T
so...ah~ good manga...sad ending....
p/s: i havent done my homework yet...XD told u i needed a scolding...
{ music } Last Farewell- Big Bang
{ book } New Moon
{ mood } satisfied
Written by YiJern at 05:13 PM.
This afternoon...i noticed dat...
my brother...is a goat...why? cause he just stuffs food/veges into his mouth..even ginger...garlic...even my dad looked at him with his eyes wide open....he really eats anything...
i havent done my essay...and addmaths...i'm gonna die if i don't do them soon...they shouldn't have gave us such a long holiday...i don't know how to write an essay already...oh gosh...i need help...XS
HELP!!!!!!!!!
{ mood } EXTREMELY lazy...
Written by YiJern at 12:36 AM.
I watched EHB odi!!!!
IT IS HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!
GO WATCH IT!!! WATCH FROM EPISODE 1!!!!
I guarentee you'll laugh your heads off...
XD
ahahahahh!!!
and...i've done my essay!! XD *proud* *proud*
but..i haven't do my addmaths...XS *depressed* *depressed*
ahahah!!!
{ book } New Moon
{ show } EHB
{ mood } jubilant
Written by YiJern at 11:24 PM.
ah~
i'm updating very frequently...XD ahaha...well..today..i really need to let out my frustration...
ok...my class...4s1...is at the very TOP of the school..you can say it's the highest point...ALL of us dread walking up 4 flights of stairs...really..every morning..walk..climb..drag...urgh...
if dat's not bad...try studying when the morning sun comes BLAZING into your classroom with NO curtains...only some students umbrella hanging trying to shade the sun...you're most probably blinded by the glare...just looking at it...
not bad enough?? the classroom is CRAMPED like anything...we're 45 students..some fat..some thin..some average..are SQUISHING into the classroom like a tin of sardines...and for those who are sitting at the side...they can't see the whiteboard!!! all they see is the reflection of the BLAZING sun through the windows...which is quite BLINDING...
If this is still not bad...the canteen is VERY far away...by the time we walk to the canteen...2-3 PRECIOUS minutes of rest are taken away..we have less time to eat! we have to STARVE the extra minute using MORE energy...
it's really bad...and plus...i have to RUSH to the place i where i wait for bus which is quite far considering the position of my class now...and if i DON'T rush...i might MISS the bus...and i would have to TROUBLE my parents to come and get me!
okay...enough of the position of my class....now...tuitions!!
since i have ALREADY complained about my addmaths tuition...i'll say something more general today...XD
i wish my parents would STOP fussing over which tuition center i go..it's the same...a little while they say "okay..you go to that tuition!"...little while more they say.."No la...you go to this one better.." and it goes on and on and on....i really wish they would just GET me a bloody tuition center which I can attend and which they ALLOW me to attend and STOP ALL THE FUSSING!!!
and PLEASE!! don't say i need company...cause i DON'T!! what's the use of a company?? you go to tuition..you STUDY! you go to tuition...you LEARN!! you go to tuition...you REVISE!!! you don't g there to TALK!! it'll REALLY distract me!! and i won't be able to study or learn or revise!! and then..i'll be wasting my parents money! oh gosh...seems like my parents don't know me much do they??
i bet they don't know i'm a loner...i DON'T look for friends...i let them COME to me...i DON'T care if i make any friends in tuition...i have friends in school...and..dat's enough to keep me sane...i DON'T talk much..i DON'T interact much...i DON'T bother dat much...you want to be my friend...you're welcomed to be...you don't want to...you can get out of my life...i don't care...XD
okay...i'm done complaining...it's almost 10pm..i'll see some pics...iron my uniform...den perhaps read a few pages of "New Moon"...den i'll sleep...
bye.
{ book } New Moon
{ mood } irritated
Written by YiJern at 09:59 PM.
well..i just got back from addmaths tuition...
i wasn't freezing like last week...why?? i have no idea too....well..there ARE a few probabilities...one..i was wearing long sleeves...2..i wasn't paying attention to his cold jokes...3...there was more students today..4..uhh...well dat's about it..XD hahah...
well..about the "not paying attention" part...it is true..i was NOT paying attention at all...and he was like.."whatever"...cause i finished the whole book and all the excercise he gave last week..including the ones he did not say to do...XD ahahha...so i got a new book ahead of others..XD
hahhah....he started with form4 chapter 5....indices...gosh..i HATE indices...*growls* why couldn't he start chapter 8??? T.T aihx....so whatever la...i'm learning 2 chapters at one go...how stressful is dat?? i have to divide my brains into 2 and multiply it with pi and add some extra screws to keep me sane...XD
i just hope i'll not go over the limit where i'll lose hair...XS i don't want that history to repeat!!
p/s: my tuition teacher uses his hands as the whiteboadr duster..whenever he comes around..his hands are black...eeww..
{ book } New Moon & Ouran
{ mood } rushed
Written by YiJern at 10:30 PM.
i did not go insane...
it's worse...
i'm sick...fever...i hope i get better in a few hours..
just swallowed a panadol...urgh....
form 4 is terrible...
{ mood } sick
Written by YiJern at 07:56 PM.
i'm CURED!!!!
just a few hours after i swallowed the panadol...XD
my secret?? LOADS of water and a wet towel...XD
hahah...i'm happy again!! ^^
{ mood } happy
Written by YiJern at 11:14 PM.
oh gosh...
i don't know what to write..but..i'll just continue to type whatever that comes to my mind...okay..
january is SLOWLY passing by...one week seems like one month...somehow everything seems to move slowly now...i'm not sure whether it's a good or bad thing...well...i don't hope for time to just slip past either..so...maybe i should just enjoy the slow time...
addmaths! seems to be my favourite topic nowadays...XD hahah...i know how to do chapter 8 already! thx to mr chiang...he's a superb teacher! chapter 8 seems like..maths to me..well..addmaths IS maths..just a little addition...XD hahah...well...i KNOW how to do them! and i didn't struggle VERY hard to get the answers..except for one..cz d answer in d text book was wrong..ish..
i still have homework...tuition...addmaths..chapter5...indices..d teacher is not good in my opinion...i don't like him..cz..i dunno...first impression..he's not good...oh well...
*yawnz* i'm sleepy...drowsy in fact...it's 12am..i still haven't got adjusted to my new lifestyle..i really just hate it...ok...i dislike it...well..i made this decision..so..aihx..i really don't like form 4 ....or the thought that i'm gona be 16 this year...i don't wanna be 16..i wanna be 15...16 seems...old..imagine when i reach 17!! gosh...
am i scared of growing up?? not being able to act childish anymore? people expecting me to me more matured? taking on more responsibilities?? YES..i AM scared...i'm scared i can't take dat much and flunk my whole bloody life! aish..sometimes i just wish that i was dead so that i will not need to endure so many stuffs..
but if i die..i would never get to do what i wanna do...like..bungee jumping! or..sky diving!! or even diving! i really wanna try all those stuffs! para-gliding~ski-ing~riding a plane..XD i've never got on one...T.T pathetic isnt it?? aish..somehow..when i'm alone..i'll start thinking of things like that..this isn't good..especially when i'm bored..
i always think i'm pathetic..a loser..a freak! but somehow my friends around me tell me that they envy me..well..i envy them! i don't know how to express my feelings freely like them..and i have a LOW LOW self esteem...i always think people wont remember me..XD haha...cz i'm surrounded with bubbly and talkative and outstanding people..yea..i think so lowly of myself...
oh yea..speaking of friends...they keep on poking my flesh...^^|| they say it's soft..tender...thank god they didn't say juicy...if not i'll keep away from them...cz i'll suspect that they're cannibals or something..XD hahah...especially yen...when she pokes me...on my back or hand or arm or shoulder or knee...she'll go "oh my god!! you're soooo soft!!aahh!!" den she'll hug my arm..or something..or tell someone else...*smacks forehead* the other day she even said "oh my god!! you get to touch your own thigh!!" after poking my knee....i stared at her as if she's a pervert or a psycho maniac wanting to molest me...aish...yes..dat's yen...
i was shocked myself...hahah...oh well...*cough* *cough* *shakes bottle* aish...i'm out of water...i need water...bye..i'm gonna get water..night..
p/s: i havent finish new moon yet..no time...T.T
{ music } Rainbow- DBSK
{ book } New Moon & Ouran
{ mood } thirsty
Written by YiJern at 12:16 AM.
I'm tired..in fact..i'm exhausted...i ran 1,500meters in school today...bloody pj..it was so tiring...oh gosh...now i have homework...i want some sleep....i'm tired...i have addmaths..i have..komsas...
i need rest...urgh..i'm having physics tuition later...most likely i'll be cooking my own dinner...oh gosh...i forgot..i have chores to finish up....shit...
good news..i finished New Moon already!! well..not quite...cause..i was reading the epilouge halfway when the school bell rang...i had to return the book to yen...aih...i really LOVE edward...well...at least the way he comes out in my imagination...bella is so annoying..very reckless indeed...aihx....sleepy...eyes drooping...typing to keep awake....
shit...it's 5 something already! i need to get going with my chores...dammit....bye...oh yea...i haf to refill he bf1...dammit...curse you sir chan...ish...curse you chooi sin...why the heck was the contoh WRONG???? >.< aihx...
{ mood } exhausted
Written by YiJern at 05:13 PM.
i always blog after i get back from my addmaths tuition...hahah...according to the tutor...we've finished chapter 5..indices..but unfortunately..it seems like NOTHING has gotten into the thick skull of mine..maybe it's because what he taught was all learned in form3...what a waste of time..^^; now i'm starting chapter 1...functions..it's easy..yes..easy...and you know what? he says that only MGS starts with chapter 8...bloody hell...he said maybe it's the only school which starts with chapter 8 in the whole of Malaysia...at that point..i wanted to...i felt kinda offended...oh well....we MGSians are UNIQUE!!! dat's why we start with chapter 8....blek!! XP
hahah....so...fine..on the way back...i saw the moon...it was a full moon...and it was shining brightly...and..a few lines of poem popped into my head..and oh yea..the moon this early morning was beautiful too..it was bright yellowish white...very beautiful...ok..here's the poem...^^
The moon is shining bright,
It's such a beautiful sight;
I'm wishing all my might,
That I'll dream of Junsu tonight.
Shining with everlasting glow,
Makes me feel so low;
Like Junsu on the stage,
Performing "My Page".
Glowing in the midst of darkness,
With beautiful and untainted brightness;
Like Junsu shining,
Whenever he is smiling.
A comforting glow,
Like when a gentle breeze blow;
As comforting as Junsu's angelic voice,
A excellently pleasent noise.
hahah....i know it's not a good poem...XD but i don't care...^^
{ music } Purple Line- DBSK
{ book } Ouran
{ mood } peaceful
Written by YiJern at 11:26 PM.
i hate my brother..not all the time but...when he treats me like i'm an imbecile...whenever i ask him a math question...he just do out the working and expect me to understand...it's..not nice..and when i ask him how did he get dat..and dis..he'll just say..u take dis dat dis dat blah blah in a rude tone and a gruff voice...it hurts me everytime he does things like dat...
i dunno why...why must a brother treat me like dat?? cant he be like other brothers who cares for their little sister??? it really hurt my feelings..it's like he despise me for being his sister....
bad things bout my bro: he gives a cold shoulder, he ignores me alot, he always grumbles whenever i ask him a question whether it's a math problem or something else, he always speaks in a rough tone, he hurts my parents feelings often by keeping quiet when questioned and answering back with a rude tone...
good things bout my bro: he helps me with the computer, he cooks dinner sometimes, he does chores sometimes, he's nice when he's watching naruto, he sometimes help me with my schoolwork(maths), he offered to fetch me from tuition...uhm....i dunno liao...
seems to be the good points lacking right?? i wonder how on earth did he get a girlfriend...tsk tsk tsk....hahah...
aihx....i dunno what else to say...i just hope he treats me a lil' better...at least don't give me the reluctant look whenever i ask him to help me solve a problem...dat'll be MUCH better...aih....night...*yawns*
{ music } Trick-DBSK
{ mood } disappointed
Written by YiJern at 07:28 PM.
is it me or are things just getting sadder by the day? *thinks* nah..it's just me..i guess everything has been building up inside me..just waiting to break out..i've been tearing up quite easily these days...pms?? i wonder...
first things first...on saturday...had school...terrible day...i hated the members...they kept on making so much noise and i couldn't think...and..secretary jobs are piling up...i need to settle them...fast...i just don't know how...i don't think i'm capable of handling things...i need to count on someone to give me orders and stuffs...i need to grow up...but my brain seems to be stunted..i still hate the members...i hate my job..i hate st.john...and it's not like i can quit now....i couldn't just run away from my responsibilities and leave everthing into kar yee and diana....i need to be responsible...urgh..i hate responsibilities...
2nd thing...after school...was really tired...opop came and fetch me...he told me dat we're getting a new car cz d current car will have to go...it's been with us ever since i was 4...it's been 12years....very very old...it needed frequent repairs..and service...opop's getting a myvi...so...what's so depressing bout it? it cost bout RM40,000 per car....what's so bad bout it? unfortunately my parents aren't rich...and they have to work their asses out everyday....day in day out...i, as a daughter...cant do anything bout it...and my brother...is fooling around..still unsure of what he wants to study..what's more? my parents will most likely have to pay for his uni....which is NOT cheap...
opop told me all this...i cried...silently...i wondered if he noticed...i feel so useless and hopeless...i couldn't do anything...i just realised dat my family is facing financial difficulties...how could i be such an ignorant daughter?? now i don't mind eating bread everyday....anything dat i could do to save some money...
i fell asleep right after i ate lunch dat day...bout 3pm....i didn't wake up till 10pm...i was exhausted...i still am...i have no idea why...i'm always exhausted at the end of the week...every ounce of energy is drained...i need rest...yet i couldn't get any...i shouldn't...i don't deserve it...my parents need them...
this morning...my dad told my dat wendy's father passed away...we went to visit them a little while in the church...i didn't feel anything as i wasn't close to them..but wendy did give piano lessons before...and her father usually walks the dog in the evening...but when i heard their conversation bout how are they gonna cremate him and throw his ashes into the river...i remembered my late grandfather...tears started to come...i tried to hold them back in..but too bad...it just flowed out...my late grandfather...was also cremated and his ashes was thrown into the river..in Lumut...i was very sad...
it isn't a nice thing to remember....he passed away when i was only about 7 or 8...i miss him....my another grandfather...too passed away...so i dont have any grandfathers...i used to think i'm unlucky to have no grandfathers...but...i know..it's just a circle of life...when it's your time to go...you have to go...
i hate crying...i hate it when tears fill up my eyes...i hate it when it spills over when i'm in public...i hate people comforting me when i'm crying...it makes me cry even more....i hate to cry in front of anyone...i hate to feel like a weakling in front of other people...
in short...
I HATE TO CRY....
{ mood } melancholy
Written by YiJern at 10:37 PM.
