Entries for October, 2008
dreams...oh yea..i mean those hallucinations you experience at night in your slumber. i've been having weird dreams lately...
seriously WEIRD dreams!!!
last night i dreamt...i was in school. getting ready for kh club. weird thing is..d "cooking room" was different from the real one. it was much smaller and there was alot of standing fans. (who knows what they're doing there..) and the kh members were sort of different..jin yuen, junne, bao xin, kar yee, kar yen, pn pung, me, yee mun, zi hui..
i remember scolding jin yuen for interferring with my group..like talking non-stop..i was really mad...den poof! another dream begun..
i was some sort of prisoner...of some one..i don't know anyone in this dream...i remember i was sliding down the river..more like the tube slide in lost world..when i was almost at the end, there was a forked "tube"..i chose to take the one on my left..i came to a 'secret' place..
there was a lot of vegitation and there was a pond...in the middle of the pond there was a big tree..with some red fruit on it i think..it was quite a pretty garden...i climbed out of the tube and explored it secretly...as i was not supposed to be there..i was a prisoner remember? i remember wearing a white but dirty night gown like those in the old days..middle ages..but i cant see my own face...no mirror...xP
anyway...somehow..that place turned out to be my school...who knows where did the pond and tree popped out from...the next thing i know..someone alerted the guards and i was fighting with a woman..my kidnapper i guess...i had an amazing ability..i could catch the arrows she shot at me..and i took her daughter as a hostage..i think someone called my name "A----" something..my name started with an "A"..
and then some "prince" came out...i have no idea who he is..can't remember his face either..he was helping me..but not much of a help...=.= well..the woman was standing at the library door and i was at the office stairs there....every arrow i caught, i threw it to the daughter...i was desperate i guess...and the arrows were gleaming golden..like a magic arrow...and..then..poof!
then i dreamt it again...this time..every arrow i caught, i forced it through the daughter's neck trying to kill her with all my might...it was scary....then i woke up...
yesterday...my dream was even weirder...i dreamt about SHINee!! of all bands...SHINee!! urgh...i'm not even a fan of them....
anyway...maybe it was because if their mv "Love like Oxygen" which i saw in POPS IN SEOUL the night before....only 2 guys appeared in my dream...i mean..vividly...
somehow...i was seeing them filming their mv..love like oxygen..after a while when they finished...they were in my..uhh..not exactly my house...because it looks different from my real house...
anyway...the guy on the left, the green shirt one....was in some basement driving his car...and the blue shirt one..(i have no idea what their names are...xD) was already in "my house" waiting to eat...lol...
then i went and called the green shirt guy..i heard he was kidnapped..so i told the others..my mom was there too...and somehow..the basement road..will only lead to the front of my house..so we waited in the porch...and as expected..the car came diving up..and stopped directly in front of my gate..i went up and opened the door...
it was a fancyand futuristic sports car..the doors opened upwards..more like a spaceship than a car..or a mixture of the both...hmm...anyway..the kidnapper and the green shirt guy..were wearing helmets...lol...i miraculously pulled the kidnapper by the helmet with one hand and lifted him out of the car and threw on the floor..i did the same for the green shirt guy..
then i asked the green shirt guy whether he was hurt or not..he said he fractured his collar bone..so as a St. Johner..i took my bandage and bandaged his stick thin hand...literally...it was sooo thin..and i had difficulty bandaging him...oh yea..i told my mom to call the ambulance too...
when they went up the ambulance..poof! dream ended...
lolx...
anyway..i'm on..because i finished my homework..hahah...
p/s: who knows where to download japanese movies?
{ music } Gajyuga- Wonder Girls
{ show } V for Vendetta
{ mood } cheerful
Written by YiJern at 03:57 PM.
today really IS a rotten day.
i typed this halfway and it changed to some maxis website and i have to type this again.
let's cut things short.
it's a bad day.
exams are getting to me.
the pressure is intense that i just wish someone or something would just take my life away. NOW.
i need some help you think? nah. i just need to stress myself out.
after all. what are exams really for? after you die everything is worthless.
you can take nothing with you.
one day the sun's gonna die and everything else will be gone.
everything will be gone and wasted.
struggles in life would be just a joke for someone who can live forever, whoever that might be.
and,
after you die, you're DEAD. no afterlife and stuffs.
stupid superstitious stuffs. i neither believe in spirits nor ghosts nor angels nor gods.
they're all bogus.
yes. i'm an atheist.
man. i hate my life.
lost my purpose. whoops, i mean i never found my purpose in life.
GRAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
face it. i'm telling the truth.
i hate myself.
{ mood } anger and depression
Written by YiJern at 11:28 PM.
i feel uneasy...
i have this feeling like something bad is going to happen..but i don't know what, where or when is it going to happen..
it's very bothersome..
i've been having this feeling since last night..
it just pressures my heart as if..i mean..
i don't know how to describe this feeling..
it's like you're torn between two equally good or bad things and you can only choose one.
i think it's affecting me greatly..
i'm in a bad mood again..
i was in a good mood last 2 days..
but now..aih.
i feel something..but at the same time...i don't feel anything..
it's a weird and bad feeling..
it hurts my heart...
exams are tomorrow...aih.
i don't know how will i ace it..
someone help me get rid of this feeling..
{ mood } uncomfortable
Written by YiJern at 10:52 PM.
something's wrong with me.
i think i'm having some psychological problems.
my brain and mind is not functioning right.
i have kept my mouth shut towards my friends for days although i'm neither angry nor mad at them.
lately, i've been thinking..
not thinking..
more like a sudden image that just pops out in your mind which you can't control.
it's okay to have that, but mine is just way wrong.
violent images and death images are popping into my head.
it just pops out.
like when you open the latch of a jack-in-a-box, the jack pops out.
when some minor things happens or is done, a violent image pops out in my mind to exaggerate the scenario.
just now, that just happened.
i was just casually placing my leg behind me as i lay on my stomach.
then, an image of a pale, slimy and cold hand grabs my feet like those ghost in the japanese movies.
yea..
i think i need some help.
help?
lunacy is about to take over me.
{ mood } lunatic
Written by YiJern at 12:45 AM.
I'd figure I should post some humour after a few depressing posts. However that doesn't mean that my problem is over.
Well, this incident happened during assembly. Just a few days back.
Mrs Lee: Yesterday evening, a man in a car has exhibited himself to some of our students.
Students: (silence)
Me: <snicker> (thinking) Wow. That's bad. Thank god I went home already.
Mrs Lee: You know, flashed himself.
Students: (silence)
Mrs Lee: As in, revealed his private parts.
Students: Aiyeeerr!! Huh?! (loud chatter)
Mrs Lee: Haiyor, now only you understand.
Students: Hahahah~
Mrs Lee: (lecture lecture lecture~~)
-------------
Conclusion?
MGS girls don't get euphernisms.
Tsk tsk tsk. Read more books.
Lol.
{ mood } blank
Written by YiJern at 04:20 PM.
i just had a dream full of celebs...and cartoon characters..
there was charles eppes from numbers as well as his friend i dunno wad his name is..
there was tory from mythbusters..
hirataka and an unknown girl from kim possible..
irwin from the suit life of zack and cody..
i think ron was there also...
man....it was a WEIRD dream...
it had crocodiles in it..
and apparently...we were searching for kim possible i think...
somehow...there's this tropical breeding area for crocodiles in the middle of a snowy place..
and when we entered it...it turned out to be my room...and my book shelf turned out to be a secret door to somewhere..
weird....
{ mood } weird
Written by YiJern at 08:37 AM.
i'm memorizing stupid definitions..for moral..
pffttt......
i hate memorizing these stupid things..as if we need it in the future..
if you wanna teach us moral, make us do the moral.
instead of theory, do practical.
sometimes the education system doesn't make sense at all.
urgh!
i'm biting of chunks of chocolates to keep my brain a supple supply of glucose.
i hope that doesn't add to my weight.
urgh!
anyway..back to memorizing...
kepercayaan kepada tuhan...keyakinan wujudnya tu....
p/s: i think my depression ended..but i'm still not talking. i think i have made up my mind not to speak to anyone in school unless i really need to until exams' over..
yea.
i found a nice rpg game: the secret of the solstice~
==================
edit: my light mood may be due to the chocolate i ate...xP
{ mood } frustrated
Written by YiJern at 11:45 PM.
know your brain.
take this quiz. http://mindmedia.com/brainworks/profiler
my results:
Audio: 50%
Visual: 50%
Left: 61%
Right: 33%
Lim, you are somewhat left-hemisphere dominant with a balanced preference for auditory and visual inputs. Because of your "centrist" tendencies, the distinctions between various types of brain usage are somewhat blurred.
Your tendency to be organized and logical and attend to details is reasonably well-established which should afford you success regardless of your chosen field of endeavor, unless it requires total spontaneity and ability to improvise, your weaker traits. However, you are far from rigid or overcontrolled. You possess a degree of individuality, perceptiveness, and trust in your intuition to function at much more sophisticated levels than most.
Having given sufficient attention to detail, you can readily perceive the larger aspects and implications of a situation or of learning. You are functional and practical, but can blend abstraction and theory into your framework readily.
The equivalence of your auditory and visual learning orientation gives you two equally effective sensory input systems, each with distinctive features. You can process both unidimensionally and multidimen- sionally with equal facility. When needed, you sequence material while at other times you "intake it all" and store it for processing later.
Your natural ability to use your senses is also synthesized in your way of learning. You can be reflective in your approach, absorbing material in a non-aggressive manner, and at other times voracious in seeking out stimulation and experience.
Overall you tend to be somewhat more critical of yourself than is necessary and avoid enjoying life too much because of a sense of duty. You feel somewhat constrained and tend to sometimes restrict your expressiveness. In any given situation, you will opt for the rational, and learning of almost any type should be easy for you. You might need certain ideas explained to you in order to fit them into your scheme of things, but you're at least open to that!
edit: this is soooooooooo true!!
{ mood } amazed
Written by YiJern at 11:59 PM.
that's it.
I AM OFFICIALLY SCREWED!!!!!!
I am SOOO gonna flunk addmaths.
man i hate myself.
GRAHHHH!~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
{ mood } screwed
Written by YiJern at 02:20 PM.
I love rainy days.
Pitter, patter, the rain comes down,
Moisturizing the dry, hard ground;
Washing away dirt and grime,
As it pours with a steady rhyme.
I look at the rain with a pleased smile,
Hoping this beautiful scene will last a while;
As it drains my sorrows and grieves,
I'd never thought it would be such a relieve.
Minutes have passed by,
Before my eyes lies a brand new sky;
Although still cloudy like my heart,
Perhaps it's time for a brand new start.
My heart still yearns for the rain,
For it to start pouring again;
To feel its freshness,
And to wash away my sadness.
Oh rain! Why won't you listen to my plea?
And come pouring down on me;
Another moment for my sake,
One more moment, that's all it takes.
All eyes are on me,
Wondering who this crazy person can be;
Like a mad man set free,
Disrupting the peace and serenity.
I am no mad man I know,
But somehow my feelings feel so low;
When the rain is absent from my heart,
It feels like I am torn apart.
-THE END-
copyright of -YiJern-
{ music } The Rythm of the Falling Rain
{ book } Wuthering Heights- Emily Bronte
{ show } The rain
{ mood } peaceful
Written by YiJern at 02:19 AM.
i don't get it..
why must you think so negatively of us?
all those negative thoughts aren't true!
man...you really hurt my heart.
{ mood } disappointed
Written by YiJern at 07:17 PM.
I just watched a J-movie I downloaded...it's called Tears Flowing Endlessly aka Tears For You aka Nada Sou Sou aka 涙そうそう..got it from avistaz..
I took a REAL long time downloading it..because there aren't enough seeders and peers...aihx..
ANYWAY...i watched it..
i think..it's...a...not such a great movie..
koizora was better..this movie's plot is actually kinda boring..and honestly..draggy...
well..what makes me wanna download this in the first place?
Oh..i saw it in Wonder Girls' MV..they sang a song for this movie but was not featured..?? maybe it was fanmade...but in dat MV..it really was sad...that's why I thought it was a good movie..
and there were many comments saying it's good...I don't think so..(sorry to all fans out there..>.<
but of course..being me..this "emotional girl who cries at every sad thing she sees on screen" (oh yea..i am that..bet my friends are shocked..xP)..I admit..I did cry..nah..maybe a tear or two..but not a lot..
overall....i would rate this movie 2/5 stars..no good no good..
btw...the main actress in Proposal Daisakusen..was the main actress in this movie too...something Mikami..
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i've been reading Gakuen Alice these days...and OMG!!! i absolutely LOVE natsume!! LOL
actually i was intending to post this after i finish colouring the manga scans..to post it up together...the scenes where my heart went all tingly and fuzzy and warm..^^ oh yea...it's natsume+mikan's love scenes...xD
i just love that couple! 日向棗♥佐倉蜜柑
本とにかわいのカップル！！きゃああ！大いい好きです！！！
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ping qing made me went round in circles just now when she asked me about the ff&p course stuffs...suddenly we're talking about the long one and the short one which i have no idea which is which...
*faints*
{ show } Nada Sou Sou (涙そうそう)
{ mood } bouncy
Written by YiJern at 10:38 PM.
